To Begin Again
by Obi the Kid
Summary: Post-TPM, non-slash. Obi tries to put the past behind him.


TITLE: To Begin Again  
AUTHOR: Obi the Kid (hlnkid@aol.com)  
RATING: PG  
SUMMARY: 10 years post-TPM. Non-Slash. Obi-Wan begins to let go of his past.  
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FEEDBACK: Always appreciated.  
MY WEBSITE: http://www.angelfire.com/movies/obithekid/  
DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.  
  
  
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To Begin Again  
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It's been ten years today Master. Ten years since I lost you. I dread this day, but at the same time, I treasure it. It's when all the memories of our days together hit me the hardest. I laugh a little, and then find myself crying. Each time I think I am over your death...I find that one place in my mind that holds my dearest memories of you, and I lose myself in those thoughts.  
  
Anakin has become quite a young man. Yet his anger concerns me. I do not know what our future holds...sometimes I just can't seem to connect with him. I am certain that I was never meant to train him. I fear what lies ahead.   
  
The time has come for me to truly let go of the past. I have carried one part of you with me since your death...your lightsaber. It's the one thing that I hold dearer than anything or anyone. It is my link to you...or is it my weakness? I haven't been able to let go completely Master. Perhaps if I let go of this one piece of our life together...I can move on with my own life.   
  
It's so hard Master. Even now, I miss you so very much. I miss your friendship most of all. I could talk to you about anything. Did I ever tell you how much I enjoyed our talks? I remember when you helped me to build my first real lightsaber, unlike the training sabers we built as initiates. You were so patient with me...so encouraging. I miss that stability in my life. There is no stability anymore.   
  
When you died, part of me died with you. But now, I believe I am ready to say goodbye to you Master. I will retire your saber, replace it with the one I made just last year. I will place it in my room, in our quarters. The room that was at one time, yours. There I have holo-graph pictures of the two of us together. One was taken not long after you accepted me as your apprentice...the other was taken just a year before your death. They give me strength when I need it the most.  
  
I do my best not to dwell on the past, but at times, when I need someone to talk to, I find myself talking to you. As it happens, a sense of peace comes over me after these times. Perhaps you are listening to me Master? Perhaps you hear my words, and feel my pain?   
  
There is no death; there is the Force. How many times have I heard that since your passing? If there is no death, why is there so much hurt inside me? I want to move on, I need to move on, but I don't ever want to forget what you were in my life. That is why, at long last, your saber will rest.  
  
You should see the new one I've constructed? It's a lot like yours. I thought I'd honor our past, and create a blue blade, just like I had when I was your Padawan. This is symbol of my new life. One that I owe to you.   
  
I should go now Master, I've been here long enough. I thank my friends and the Council for allowing me to spend this one-day without interruption. They tell me to let go, but they also know how important it is to keep ones memory alive. They honor you and your sacrifice, just as I do.  
  
I wish I knew that you hear me. I wish...just once more, that your words would echo in my ears. I wish...I wish...you were still at my side. If I close my eyes...I can see your gentle features gazing back at me.   
  
I am moving on Master. I am beginning again. What will the rest of this life hold for me? I can only imagine.   
  
I only wish...that one day in the future...I will be at your side once more.   
  
END  
  



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